I think a lot of us moms don’t take care of ourselves because there is a part of us that feels selfish or guilty about it. Logically, I know there is no reason to feel that way. Emotions, however, don’t care much for logic.
I feel guilty because I’m a working mom. I don’t give my kids all the attention they need because I have to work full time, cook, clean, etc. My kids are not shy about calling me on this. I’m glad they advocate for themselves, but it hurts to know that I can’t give them everything they deserve. If I do something for my mental health, it will take more time and attention away from my kids.
I feel shame because I see how well the other moms are doing. It seems like they never drop their kids off late to school, never yell, and never cry in front of their kids. It looks like they are always on top of their game, always have energy to match their kids, always make healthy meals, and always keep the house clean. If I do something for my mental health, I will fall further behind.
I feel selfish because my kids should always come first. Their physical, emotional, mental, and educational well-being is more important than mine. I am the adult, and I need to act like one. If I do something for my mental health, I will be putting myself ahead of my kids.
I feel weak because other moms don’t need to see a psychiatrist every month. They don’t need a handful of pills to battle a mental health disorder and a sleeping disorder. They can deal with the stress and pressure. They are just better than me.
Logically, I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, shameful, selfish, and weak for taking care of myself. All the other moms are not perfect. They all have their own battles and deal with negative thoughts.
My message for you today is that you are not alone with these feelings. You DO matter. You need to take care of yourself, and no one will judge you for that.
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