Literally the only real advice I have

Moms love to talk to other moms about mom-ing. We have a lot to say. Our kids give us a LOT of material to work with. Talking with each other gives us some time to vent, an excuse to humble brag, and a way to connect.

Talking with other moms leads to giving and listening to advice. I have talked with all my mom friends about diapers, playgrounds, potty training, education, blah blah blah, all the mom things. Recently, I was chatting with a friend of mine who was about to have her first baby. She asked what advice I would give a new mom. I started with my typical, “Umm. I’m not sure. The only thing I can be sure of is that I can’t give advice about sleep training.” (Maybe I’ll touch on that in another post…)

Then, I abruptly stopped that train of thought and said, “Wait. I do actually have a piece of advice.”

Here is it: Take your mental health seriously. It is ok if having a baby hasn’t made you deliriously happy. It is ok if you mourn your single life a bit. It is ok if you feel sad for no apparent reason. IT IS OK.

In fact, it is weird if you don’t feel a wide range of emotions, positive and negative, after birth. If you don’t feel sad at least once in that first week of new life, you should probably get that checked…

Depression after having a baby is 100% normal. Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, just really smart. You likely have other stressors on top of the hormones charging through your body. Maybe your birth experience was traumatic. Maybe you’re doing this without a partner. Maybe you have a partner that is unengaged or irresponsible. Maybe you’re worried about the hospital bill headed your way. Maybe you are on an unpaid maternity leave. Maybe you have other mental or physical issues that make this an even greater challenge.

Tell your doctor. Tell your support system. Take care of yourself.

MAKE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH A PRIORITY.

Coming soon… the excuses we use to justify not taking care of ourselves.